By: Loving Life as Emma
Prose & Poetry, , , , , , , , , , ,

Vulnerability

You carry your image with you as a weight which wearies your soul,
Like an anvil barely balancing between two two by fours,
A cinder block pressed against your broken chest.

& the worst part is that you’ve carried it for 20 years without realization.

You want to part with it because you know that to part ways with the idea of yourself would be the best way to be yourself.

But that’s exactly why you’re scared— if you part ways with your image you’ll be left with only you…

and what if you isn’t enough?

What if you gets hurt?

It was one thing for them to damage your armor,
It’s another for them to pierce your flesh.

And you isn’t sure if you is ready to take that kind of pain.

“Be unoffendable,” they inspired.
So you created a plexiglass box that shielded you from offense.

“Be confident,” they encouraged.
So you clipped out a piece of confidence from your favorite magazine and taped it to the outside of your box.

“Be real, be kind, be courageous, be, be, be…”
So you put all your inspirations and slivers of your aspirations and lots of bees all over the outside of your box— enough to be noticed, enough to be encouraged, enough to be called “good,”

…but not enough to be truly seen.

And now that you know this is the case, you’re tired of adding weight to your plexiglass box. You bet you could see life more clearly if you stepped outside of it.

But that’s exactly why you’re scared– if you step outside of the box, you’ll see a more clear version of life, and everyone else will see a more clear version of you.

You’ll be naked in the arena of life, fighting to the death without any clothes, and everyone else will be a spectator to one of your most entertaining shows.

At the very thought of this, you run back into your box but it’s not the same anymore because you’re fretting between staying in and running out which creates tension. The tension is causing heat. The temperature is rising. It’s 300 degrees inside and plexiglass melts at 320 degrees Fahrenheit. It doesn’t matter if you’re scared, you have to make a decision.

Get out of your box and let yourself into clarity. You can’t wear the sunglasses of your images anymore.
There’s a voice in your head named desire who constantly whispers, “Freedom,” but you’ll never be free until you answer freedom’s call.

Take 30 seconds to embrace your fear,
Then let it go…

You did it! You did it! You’re free! You did it!

“But this doesn’t feel like freedom!” You scream as you try to run back to your box.
Your box is melted now and it’s nowhere to be seen.

It’s just you, until your opponent walks into the arena, but it’s just you. Your opponent is you.

It may take you awhile of sitting scared and alone in the arena, but as you start to see the world more clearly you’ll realize that you never want to live in another box again.

You are free